Affair Repair and Relationship Rehab

What is infidelity?

Infidelity, also known as cheating, adultery, or extramarital affairs, is a breach of trust in a monogamous romantic relationship when a person engages in an emotional or sexual relationship with someone else without their partner’s consent. However, infidelity isn’t a clear-cut situation, and what is considered infidelity can vary among couples and even between spouses. It’s up to each couple to define what infidelity means within their marriage.

The most common types of infidelity are:

  • Extramarital sex: this can be any form of sexual touch and not just intercourse.
  • Emotional infidelity: Developing a deep emotional bond or falling in love with someone other than one’s partner, even if there is no physical or sexual contact. If you have to lie about how much you talk or see another person, then you have a covert relationship. As this bond increases your primary bond will deteriorate.
  • Online infidelity: Engaging in an online relationship or online sexual activity with someone other than one’s partner. This includes live or recorded video like OnlyFans, Instagram, Facebook Messenger, Zoom, Voxer, WhatsApp, and even XBOX live.

Ultimately, infidelity can be perceived as feelings or actions that violate a partner’s expectations for the exclusivity of the relationship. It can be a personal and often traumatic event for those who experience it. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or uncertain about how to move forward after experiencing infidelity, seeking infidelity therapy can provide support and guidance as you navigate this challenging time.

How does therapy help with infidelity?

Therapy can provide a safe and supportive environment for individuals and couples to explore the emotional impact of infidelity and work through the issues that led to the infidelity. Therapy can also help to rebuild trust, improve communication, and increase intimacy within the relationship.

What types of therapy are effective for infidelity?

There are several types of therapy that can be effective for infidelity, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and the Gottman Method. These therapies focus on improving communication, increasing emotional connection, and rebuilding trust.

How long does therapy for infidelity typically take?

The length of therapy for infidelity can vary depending on the specific needs of the individuals and couples involved. Some couples may only need a few sessions to work through the immediate aftermath of infidelity, while others may require ongoing therapy to address deeper issues and rebuild trust.

Can therapy save a relationship after infidelity?

While therapy cannot guarantee that a relationship will be saved after infidelity, it can provide the tools and support necessary for individuals and couples to work through the emotional impact of infidelity and rebuild trust. Ultimately, the success of therapy will depend on the willingness of both partners to engage in the process and make necessary changes.

Is therapy for infidelity only for couples?

No, therapy for infidelity can be beneficial for both individuals and couples. Individuals who have experienced infidelity can benefit from therapy to work through their emotions and heal, while couples can benefit from therapy to address the impact of infidelity on their relationship and work towards rebuilding trust and intimacy.

Is therapy confidential?

Yes, therapy is confidential. The therapist is legally bound to keep all information disclosed in therapy sessions private, unless there is a risk of harm to oneself or others.

What can I expect during therapy for infidelity?

During therapy for infidelity, individuals and couples can expect to work through the emotional impact of the infidelity, gain a better understanding of the underlying issues that led to the infidelity, and learn effective communication skills and strategies to rebuild trust and intimacy. Therapy may involve individual sessions, couples therapy, or a combination of both.

Can therapy really help after infidelity?

Yes, therapy can be an effective way to heal and rebuild a relationship after infidelity. A trained therapist can provide a safe and supportive environment to work through the emotional impact of infidelity and help couples rebuild trust and intimacy.

What if my partner doesn’t want to go to therapy?

It’s important to encourage them to consider therapy as an option. While it’s up to each individual to make the decision to attend therapy, explaining how therapy can help to heal and rebuild the relationship after infidelity may be helpful.

Infidelity Therapy a Brief Overview

Infidelity is a common issue that affects many relationships, causing emotional pain and turmoil for those involved. When one partner cheats, it can cause feelings of betrayal, hurt, anger, and confusion. Despite the challenges, recovery and repair from infidelity are possible. Infidelity Therapy is one effective method that can help individuals and couples navigate though the storms emotions and steer towards rebuilding trust and connection.

I primarily use Gottman Approach for the Treatment of Affairs, but I also use exercises from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and sometimes Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). All of these types of therapy are empirically based from ongoing research of couples wanting to heal from cheating, affairs, and infidelity.

There are three basic phases of infidelity therapy:

Phase 1: Dealing with the Immediate Impact of the Affair

The first phase of infidelity therapy involves addressing the immediate impact of the affair. This stage is primarily cognitive-behavioral and focuses on damage control and minimizing future catastrophes. We will work to establish physical and emotional safety, de-escalate overwhelming moments, set ground rules for communication, and setting the proper time and place for talking about the affair.

Phase 2: Understanding the Meaning and Context of the Affair

In Phase 2 of Infidelity Therapy, we will use exercises that enable you to communicate your thoughts, emotions, and physical distress to your partner to help you understand the damage from the affair and past and present vulnerabilities of the couple to an affair. This stage is about exploring the event from both a recent and historical perspective to help couples gain insight into what happened and how to prevent future affairs. Through this phase couples start to increase feelings of intimacy and closeness.

Phase 3: Addressing Forgiveness, Reexamining the Relationship, and Moving Forward

In the final phase of infidelity therapy, couples are encouraged to address the issue of forgiveness, consolidate what they have learned about each other, reexamine their relationship, and decide how they wish to continue their relationship in the future. We will work with couples to identify and repair weaknesses in the relationship in general and practice healthy relationship skills to prevent a weaking of your primary bond to each other.

Understanding Infidelity

Infidelity is generally defined as the act of being unfaithful to a partner, usually involving a romantic or sexual relationship with someone other than one’s primary partner. There are different types of infidelity, including emotional, physical, and cyber infidelity. Emotional infidelity typically involves a deep emotional connection with someone outside the relationship, while physical infidelity involves sexual activity with someone outside the relationship. Cyber infidelity involves engaging in sexual or romantic activity online.

Infidelity can occur for a variety of reasons, including a lack of emotional connection with one’s partner, opportunity, unresolved issues, or simply the desire for something new and exciting. Whatever the cause, the impact of infidelity on the betrayed partner and the relationship can be significant.

Research has shown that infidelity is fairly common in relationships, with approximately 25% of married couples experiencing infidelity at some point in their relationship. The emotional impact of infidelity on the betrayed partner can include feelings of shock, anger, hurt, betrayal, and a loss of trust. These emotions can lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues if not addressed.

Infidelity can also have a significant impact on the relationship itself, leading to a breakdown in communication, a loss of intimacy, and ultimately, the potential for the relationship to end.

It’s important to understand the prevalence and impact of infidelity in order to begin the healing process. By acknowledging the emotional impact of infidelity, individuals and couples can begin to take the necessary steps towards recovery and rebuilding their relationship.

Rebuilding Trust and Moving Forward Using Infidelity Therapy

After the emotional impact of infidelity has been addressed in therapy, the next step is to begin rebuilding trust and moving forward as a couple. Here are some strategies for doing so:

1. Take responsibility for your actions

The partner who committed infidelity needs to take responsibility for their actions and the impact they had on their partner and relationship. This means acknowledging the hurt they caused, being honest about what happened, and taking steps to prevent it from happening again.

2. Be patient

Rebuilding trust takes time and patience. It’s important to understand that the betrayed partner may have difficulty trusting again and may need time to heal. Both partners should be willing to take the necessary time and put in the effort to rebuild trust.

3. Be open and honest

Open and honest communication is crucial in rebuilding trust. Both partners should be willing to share their thoughts and feelings openly and honestly, and to listen to each other without judgment.

4. Practice forgiveness

Forgiveness is an important part of the healing process, both for the partner who committed infidelity and for the betrayed partner. This does not mean forgetting what happened, but rather choosing to let go of the anger and resentment and moving forward with the relationship.

5. Set boundaries

Setting boundaries can help to rebuild trust and prevent future infidelity. Both partners should be clear about what is acceptable and what is not, and should be willing to respect each other’s boundaries.

6. Seek ongoing support

Rebuilding trust and moving forward after infidelity can be a challenging process. Seeking ongoing support through therapy, support groups, or trusted friends and family can help to provide the necessary support and guidance.

By following these strategies and working together, couples can rebuild trust and move forward after infidelity. It’s important to remember that healing takes time and effort, but with commitment and patience, it is possible to rebuild a stronger, healthier relationship.

Summary of Infidelity

Infidelity can be a difficult and painful experience for both partners in a relationship, but it is possible to heal and move forward. Therapy for infidelity can provide a safe and supportive environment for individuals and couples to work through the emotional impact of infidelity and rebuild trust and intimacy.

Through therapy, individuals and couples can gain a better understanding of the underlying issues that led to the infidelity and work towards making necessary changes to prevent it from happening again. They can also learn effective communication skills, rebuild emotional connection, and set healthy boundaries to prevent future infidelity.

Rebuilding trust and moving forward after infidelity takes time and effort, but with commitment and patience, it is possible to create a stronger, healthier relationship. By taking responsibility for their actions, being patient, open, and honest, practicing forgiveness, setting boundaries, and seeking ongoing support, couples can rebuild trust and create a stronger, healthier relationship.

If you or someone you know is struggling with infidelity in a relationship, know that help is available. Seeking therapy for infidelity can be the first step towards healing and rebuilding a stronger, healthier relationship.